Today was the final day of the wedding ceremonies so it was back to Ashok’s late morning.
Luckily no turban was in sight or mentioned which I was thankful for.
On the invitation that we received there were times set out for various individual ceremonies scheduled for the day the first being at 2.15. Come that time Sherry was still waiting to be helped dressing in her saree.
Long story short she did get dressed and we moved to the main area around 4.30pm and on entry your name, place of residence was taken and the value of the gift you were giving was entered into a book. As we like most guests were giving cash I handed over a stack after announcing its value but the amount was not recorded until after it had been counted out by the bookkeeper.
As soon as we sat snacks were served - deep fried items and a very sweet sugar cane and halwa mix.
After a while, times now seemed unimportant, Ashok called us over to witness the Bhaat Ceremony which was very much like the Tilak ceremony that occurred the other night except that the givers of cash were the bride’s mothers male side which is that side of the family’s way of assisting with the cost of the wedding - the paternal side of the bride has the cost of the wedding and the maternal side provides some support by way of cash and gifts.
Initially a wad of cash was given then various paternal family members were called to kneel in the centre of the circle in order of seniority within the family and have their forehead marked with a red paste and pieces of rice affixed on the paste and given some payment.
It was interesting watching the process until I was called reluctantly into the circle where my forehead was marked and I was given a 200rs note with the gentleman giving the note saying “accept this with our love and respect”. As I exited the circle he followed me over to where Sherry was sitting gave her a 200rs note said the same words, bent and touched her foot, a Hindi way of showing respect and then turned, returned to the circle and proceeded with the ceremony.
We looked at each other with a what the f… happened there look on our faces - we felt incredibly humbled and overwhelmed by the love and respect they showed to us and effectively saying you are part of our family something Ashok has said constantly since we arrived.
As the final act of the ceremony everyone on site, cooks, waiters and guests were given a 10rs note
As Ashok had spent large on the wedding we happily stuffed what we had received into his shirt pocket.
After the ceremony we were joined by 3 11-13 year old lads who wanted to practice what little English they had learnt so far so we had a small q&a session until we ran out of the basic questions.
Then we were joined by another group this time young men, some still completing their schooling, another studying to be a physiotherapist in Bengaluru and another slightly older who was a police officer and with one having quite good English the chat was quite wide ranging as we quizzed each other on our lives and cultures. We can’t speak more highly of the people we have encountered- polite, respectful, caring are three words that come quickly to mind.
Then there was another ceremony (for family members, yes that included us) back at Sapna’s house where again the ceremony where couples scooped a mix of curd and mustard oil with a coin from a bowl and rubbed it into her hair seven times was repeated.
Returning to the venue, an open air paddock suitably decorated, all the villagers converged for a meal which comprised the full range of Indian from the breads through the curries and then the sweet dishes and it was at this time that the numbers in attendance were at the highest- say 1200.
By now ladies were dancing to another disco, this time pitched at a more sensible sound level and for the most part we watched and enjoyed though Sherry was invited to participate on more occasions than she wanted.
It was nearing 11.30 and the groom and his guests hadn’t yet arrived in the village but the fireworks which were starting to explode above signalled he was close so we moved out into the street where he would be welcomed. He arrived led by a mobile disco, dancers behind, and he sat on a brightly lit horse drawn carriage.
At the entrance to the venue the ladies who comprised the close family members of Sapna waited to welcome him into the village and each, Sherry included, then gifted him 500rs and his forehead was marked. He, Rohit, then went to Sapna’s home where in private the marriage ceremony took place while we waited with others back at the venue.
At around 12.30am the newly weds then made their grand entrance into the venue ending up on stage on an ornate throne and then the guests, who wanted to, couple by couple came up on stage stood behind them showing that they held a note before handing the cash to them and which they passed to their “treasurer”.
By now is was closing in on 1:30am, the ceremonies other than one which would not take place until the early hours of the morning when Sapna left the family home had now finished so Ashok and Gita returned us to our hotel.
Our first Indian wedding was now over and it was a thoroughly enjoyable occasion and I hazard a guess that we had our photos taken more times that the bridal couple did as any one we talked with (tried to communicate with) all wanted to have a photo taken – even as we were leaving two middle aged gents stopped us and requested a photo and as we moved off to the car Ashok told us that one was Rohit’s father.
The fact that we had taken the trouble to dress in Indian clothing seemed to be appreciated and Sherry was complimented numerous times by numerous ladies and a few men who admired her saree – the compliment was usually a slight tug on the saree with a smile.
The hospitality was both outstanding and truly humbling.
Regrettably we are encountering issues with transferring photos from iPhone to iPad photos will be on an if able basis.
We have one more day in the village before going back to Delhi tomorrow for 2 days to decompress before flying home.
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