We bailed!

 The windstorm last night turned into a thunderstorm and by the time it was over the floors in Ashok’s home were covered in sand and the electricity was kaput and while he had an inverter to obtain power from his solar battery power was only intermittent throughout the night.

At 4am the local temple started to blare out its “tune” for the next 2 hours and during that time Gita was up grinding wheat noisily outside our bedroom. We laid on the bed for as long as we could before getting up and Ashok wasn’t there as he is heavily involved in the wedding preparations as well as dealing with the electrical issues. While Gita was present communicating with her in any worthwhile way is not possible.

 

Much as we welcomed the opportunity to stay in the village the lack of sleep and staying in a half completed house including taking over the only bedroom fit for occupation started to create some stress (for us at least) so we decided to bail.

 

Discussed with Ashok when he returned and though a difficult conversation from our point of view given the hospitality he had shown he understood and arranged for us to move  back into the local hotel later in the day.

 

Today is the day the wedding ceremonies start and at around 8.30 the villagers en mass started to congregate on a plot adjacent to Ashok’s place, the women sitting in a circle together each tipping a quantity of wheat into a bowl before they sat and the men sitting in another group.

The ladies sang various chants before Sapna moved over to sit in front of the men’s circle where a blessing or similar took place and where her immediate relations offered or indicated their wedding gifts. Ashok had been away for most of yesterday afternoon purchasing his gifts which were a bed, a sewing machine, a  wardrobe and a sofa (total spent 88,000rs / $1600NZD some of which had to be put on an account).

 

The gifts were then loaded onto a truck to take to the groom’s talik ceremony in the afternoon.

 

As we watched the men loading the truck a group of late teens early twenty males started chatting and then invited us to sit around with them while they had a “smoke” so we went into another house and sat around chatting, quizzing each other on our cultures and families while the hookah was passed around.

 

We then moved to Sapna’s home where her immediate family took part in another ceremony where a turmeric paste was smeared on her knees, her cheeks and her head covering all the time the woman lead by one from the Brahman caste continued their chants.

 

Then relatives, each a couple, came forward and the male scooped a mixture of curd and mustard oil with a coin and placed that mixture on Sapna’s hair which the female would spread through her hair – each couple doing it seven times and then the male would pass some money to a lady who appeared to be supervising the ceremony – we were invited as a de facto relative to participate.

 

By now it was hitting around 10.45 so we moved to Ashok’s woman friends house (the lady whose husband was killed on Police duty) where around 11.30 breakfast was served - it’s difficult to know what is mealtime in the village.

 

We then packed up and we were brought to the Royal Tulip hotel and picked up again at 4.00 after showering and changing into more formal garb to drive the 50km to the groom’s village for his talik ceremony where the gifts Sapna received are presented to show the groom’s family that he will be well provided for

When we arrived at the Grooms village the women entered while the men remained outside the venue. A short time later the men were called for “snacks” in a well decorated large area following which they returned to the area outside the venue.

After a while the men from the groom’s village were welcomed into the area the ladies had gone into and subsequently the men from the bride’s side were welcomed into the venue.

The men from Sapna’s side then sat cross legged, something I couldn’t achieve but I got close, on the ground facing the men from the groom’s side. The ceremony then commenced with the groom, Rohit, sitting in the middle of the circle and being blessed by the “master of ceremonies” who chanted the words of the blessing.

The bride’s group then gave Rohit a range of gifts after which he left and then one by one men from Rohit’s party came into the circle and were blessed by a leader of Sapna’s group and then given some money. On a couple of occasions the amount given was obviously not in keeping with the status of the recipient who was advised by his “leader” to hold out his hand for more. When the stream of individuals stopped the “opposition leader” looked at a list he obviously had, a call out was made to someone by name to come and get into the circle for his handout - it was all a bit uncomfortable from my point of view but I accept that it is their custom.

A sizeable wad was handed to a person I assumed to be the groom’s father and instead of placing it in the handbag sized wallet he had as I would have, he counted it out in an exaggerated manner before doing so and without a thank you or acknowledgement to Sapna’s dad, Ashok’s brother, who was funding these handouts.

Finally two lads from Sapna’s village where given wads of notes and they walked among the men from the other side who hadn’t received anything so far and gave them a note.

All in all interesting but a bit tacky!

At the conclusion of this ceremony I met up with Sherry, we compared our notes (Sherry being invited to another wedding in around 6 months) and had a meal that was on offer being guided by Virender Singh who I mentioned in yesterday’s post.

By now the music was blaring out, children had started dancing, most (ok all) with more rhythm than I possess and fireworks were overhead and this for a ceremony two days before the main event.

Before leaving we made a spectacle of ourselves dancing with Ashok, Gita, the two girls and a little later with Raj Kumar who I’ve mentioned earlier who was the driver today before coming home being regaled by Raj on the way and who may well have been on something either liquid or otherwise.

We estimate around 700 were at this event and we being the only non-Indian attracted both staring and also unrequested but friendly contact - we certainly stood out like a couple of spare pricks at a wedding!

Some photos 

It was very humbling…

…. to be shown by Ashok yesterday an A3 sized photo of Sherry and I printed on glass and to be told that the photo was to hang in their bedroom once the house had been fully completed.

There have been some contradictions in what we understood Ashok to have told us on our first trip and what is in fact the position and perhaps that has been through miscommunication on his part or our misunderstanding of what he said.

 

Two that surprised us are the fact that his is a love marriage not an arranged one and that his girls would be able to choose life partners provided those chosen were acceptable to him and Gita.

 

He told us that Gita who comes from Jharkhand, a state 1200kms south east of Delhi moved to Delhi for work and it was there that she & Ashok met and the rest is history 

 

In our time in Narnaul and the surrounding area we have not seen another non-Indian face and therefore it’s of no surprise that we are continually “stared” at, Sherry perhaps more so.

 

Another Hotel Dev breakfast, at least the coffee and curd was, but other offerings were left untouched particularly the papaya on the servery which was being visited by some cockroaches!!

 

Having had our credit card rejected at the saree shop we thought we should get some more cash on board so went out into the chaos to find an ATM; without luck.

 

The heat, even at 9.30 was quite oppressive so we returned to our room where I thought a Google for the nearest ATM might show a result and luckily I wasn’t wrong so it was back out to walk the 200m in another direction to a Punjabi Bank ATM and complete the transaction.

 

We decided to walk a different route back to the hotel, via a road behind the main road, and it wasn’t too long before we wished we hadn’t as apart from having to cross a very wet and muddy patch the rubbish on the way was extreme.

 

On the way to our room I checked with the receptionist to ascertain our account as we were booking out today and was surprised that we were charged extra for booking in between 12 & 1 pm on the first day rather than after 2pm and also if I paid by card there would be an additional 5% GST which wouldn’t apply if we paid with cash – one wonders if the Government knows this.

 

Out of curiosity I checked Google reviews for the hotel and everyone was complimentary of food, rooms and service whereas our rating would have been negative – as all the reviews bore Indian names it perhaps reflected the fact that their standards, given many Indians have not travelled out of India and not experienced anything different, weren’t as high as ours.

 

We then moved to Ashok’s house and wondered given what still needed to be done whether the room was indeed going to be completed by tonight.

 

The heat is too intense to go outside so for the afternoon hours you sit around indoors in front of an aircon and it seems to be during this time that the closeness that villagers have with each other is on display.

 

We were sitting alone in the main room and 2 older women and 2 youngsters came in and one proceeded to make a milk drink for the toddler. Not long later Ashok’s mother came in and joined the group and then a little later Gita came with the group making a nice photo and a while later an elder woman joined – they all made themselves at home, as if today was the day that they would all congregate in Gita’s home

                                                      Priya not to be outdone

 

Around 3.30 when the temperature had dropped (to 40) we decided to leave the ladies to themselves (the talk was incessant and loud and we needed a little “free time”) we decided to go for a walk out in the village.

 

Folk who were sitting in the homes looking out, all acknowledged us with a wave or Namaste as we idled along the lanes stopping in various areas of shade. Luckily we passed a shop, perhaps the only one in the village as we haven’t seen any others, and we stopped and purchased a large bottle of water which was a life saver – figuratively and perhaps literally.

 

Commonsense said turnaround and get back inside so we retraced our steps again acknowledging and being acknowledged by the locals. Nearing the end of the walk we passed a home and the gentleman greeted us with “hello how are you”, “fine thanks and how are you” “fine, come inside” so we did and meet Virender Singh, a Delhi policeman, a cousin of Ashok, and his family.

We were offered water and a glass of strawberry lassi. We chatted for a while, cricket was included in the conversation, even though making each other understood was a challenge before we took our leave in case Ashok or Gita were worried that we had succumbed to the heat.

While thanking them we were told that we were welcome and told to call again! As they would be attending the wedding so we will meet them again.

 

How many of us would invite an unknown couple who happened to be walking passed our home inside and offer them a drink? This seems to be the way in this community.

When it got slightly cooler we again went for a village walk but in a different direction to end the day and now more folk were out and about including these smiling gents and this grandma with a toddler 

 

Just after I posted the blog a windstorm went through the area taking out the electricity, blowing sand through the as yet unglazed windows and sending items of rubbish down the street 

 

 

A day at the village

 Arrived back at the hotel around 11.30pm not because we went to a wedding, now that might make a good yarn one day, but because we attended a sangeet.

With the body crying out for sleep starting the blog now would be foolish so if you are interested sign back in late this afternoon 

 Breakfast restaurant opening hour in the hotel was 8.00am and that suited us fine as Ashok had arranged a pickup for 9.00am but when we went it was obvious that there was no way service would start then and we were told to come back in 30 minutes.

 

We did so and sat in the restaurant for around another 10-15 minutes before we were served a very basic breakfast though the coffee wasn’t too bad.

 

Ashok then took us to a couple of city sights – firstly the city park which is named after a “freedom fighter” and contains a 14^th century monument which is undergoing restoration and then onto a Hindu temple which sat many steps up on top of a hill.

The temperature was 37 at 9.30 and rose steadily through the morning and by late morning was at 41 degrees which is barely tolerable so after picking up Sherry’s saree and buying some bananas and mangoes from a fruit cart we went to Ashok’s house.

 

A bunch of around 15 bananas and 3 mangoes cost the equivalent of $3.75

 

Ashok cooked lunch, he is quite a dab hand in the kitchen, and as seems to be the norm a siesta type period commences as it is too hot to be out and about. The two girls don’t seem to recognise siesta time as they were all over Sherry and me, tugging at my glasses, pushing the buttons on Sherry’s watch and then playing makeshift games with our phones and the aircon remote.

After mid-afternoon we decided to go for a stroll, Ashok having gone somewhere else in the village, and as we did we met up with him and went visiting the widow of another friend.

 

This friend was a policeman and, I think, was killed on duty on the same day that one of Ashok’s daughters was born.

 

There was a group of around 6 at this house and we spent quite sometime standing around in a group talking, showing photos from my phone of our family, watching the lady of the house milk a buffalo, drinking hot fresh buffalo milk and listening to banter between the folk.

 

The lady then came back to Ashok’s place and she, Gita and Sherry then went off to the local tailor where Sherry was measured for a blouse to go under the saree.

 

By this time we were very unsure of what was happening as yesterday there was the indication of going to another wedding in the evening so I asked Ashok and was told it was “cancelled” and that we were going to the sangeet for Sapna the village girl whose wedding we have come for.

 

We went back to the hotel to change and returned to the village where Bollywood type music was starting to blare out through an impressive piece of kit.

 

Sapna and her cousin were dancing as we watched from Ashok’s house before Sapna came over and urged us to join in! A sangeet is a night before the wedding where the woman get together and dance the night away so I was, thankfully, less encouraged to join in but Sherry was not afforded that luxury and was “pulled” into the centre of floor numerous times.

 

What started off as a group of two dancing ended up with a large group of ladies, young, old and in between, filling one of the streets in the village enjoying themselves until around 11.

Ashok and his family then returned us to the hotel to end our day which at times was somewhat stressful.

Village life is very hard, especially for the women, but the familial aspects are what makes it special.

We have been offered drinks from numerous water sources, in numerous different cups by so many folk who live in below average, by our standards at least, conditions that it will be a small miracle if we don’t get the dreaded Delhi belly!

 

Sleep comes easily

 Sleep comes easily so sang Kenny Rogers and the First Edition and they weren’t wrong but staying asleep is a different story as the upset body clock kicked in around 4.00am.

Downstairs for breakfast, which consisted of papaya, curd, chapatti, curry, the old staple cornflakes and coffee, and we were waited on by a young fellow who is Nepalese and from memory the first person from that country that I have ever spoken with.

 

We then decided that we would book the room for the rest of our stay so sent a message to Ashok telling him what we planned and that we would discuss later when we got together and then off downstairs to see the receptionist.

 

We could see that they were preparing to host a wedding so it shouldn’t have been a surprise that all the rooms were booked for the next 2 nights so it was quickly upstairs to pack our gear as checkout time was fast approaching.

Ashok duly arrived and obviously was told the situation by the receptionist as he said there was a hotel in Narnaul we could book into so we headed into the city.

 

He parked the car and disappeared for 5 minutes and then came back saying we could have a room in this particular hotel yet before he could turn the car around to be in front of the hotel a guy came over and spoke to him. As they were talking Sherry said to me that she had heard the guy say it was fully booked. 

 

Without telling us the situation Ashok then started driving through the city, or at least the main street the runs through the city obviously looking for an alternative.

 

Finally we pulled up in front of Hotel Dev and he went inside reappearing shortly after asking that I go with him for “room inspection”

 

A quick look showed that from a man’s perspective it looked acceptable and it even had a proper loo so I gave Ashok the thumbs up and so we returned to the reception desk to sign the paperwork.

 

I discussed with Ashok that we would book it for two nights, the two that Royal Tulip were full and then return to Royal Tulip for the remainder of our stay but he said after two nights his house would be finished and we would stay there – an issue to be resolved a little later!

 

Hotel Dev has a rating of 4.5 but that wildly exaggerates it’s qualities but it is comfortable enough and might well have been the last hotel accommodation available so beggars can’t be choosers

 

By now it was getting into the afternoon so we and Ashok and his eldest daughter Priya went to a local restaurant for lunch- we had a filling if slightly spicy lunch which we insisted on paying for and  which came to the princely sum of the equivalent of $8NZD – then it was back to Hotel Dev to get out of the 41C heat while Ashok returned home to prepare the room for our stay.

 

It was during lunch that Ashok invited us to a fellow tourist driver’s daughter’s wedding tomorrow night some 45mins out of Narnaul – if we had come all this way for one wedding it seem logical to go to another so we accepted.

 

While we sat around in the hotel room I found a radio commentary of the Warriors game so turned in before loosing connection at 18 all with 15 minutes to go that being a signal to go for a walk which we did in what was now 42C of sapping heat.

After about an hours we returned to our room to wait for Ashok’s return to take Sherry saree shopping 

 

He returned around 5.40 with Gita and Riya three up on his Hero motorcycle and we then headed to the far end of the town for a saree which was duly completed but not without also coming away with an Indian styled dress for one of the days where formality is required.

 

After doing that we returned to the hotel and Ashok left to go home and we had a meal in the hotel restaurant before retiring.

Arrived

 Last night I wrote a detailed blog, one of my best, of the time since leaving NZ but as (bad) luck would have it, when I posted it the IT gremlins took it off into the ether never to be seen again and as I was shattered from lack of sleep I didn’t have the motivation to rewrite it.

 

So as a quick summary:

·       Met Ashok at airport – big smiles, hug, handshake and he placed a garland around our necks

·       3hr drive to his village- sore bums from flights and drive

·       Heat very oppressive 

·       Met his family- Gita, Priya & Riya

·       Was shown his new house – surprisingly still under construction but “your room” will “be finished tonight”

·       Was introduced to other family members and villagers

·       Met Sapna the bride to be – she seems excited about the upcoming wedding and didn’t ask who invited you!

·       A friend of Ashok, Raj Kumar Yadav, made up a room in a building adjacent to his home for us to stay in

·       Room exceptionally hot even with aircon, ceiling fan and two small fans going 110%

·       Bathroom attached was found to have a squat toilet!

·       Was left alone for a couple of hours to “relax” but that didn’t stop 2 ladies on one occasion and a guy on another coming into the room

·       On a couple of occasions folk who we met leant down and touched my shoe which is a sign of respect

·       Around 7.30 we went outside and Raj came over and took us to his house next door 

·       Sat on the “verandah” and quickly Marsala tea and bottles of water offered as they had been on meeting others – becomes embarrassing saying no thanks all the time

·       Chatted with Raj and his family while waiting for Ashok to come – Raj is such a delightful gent describing his life as “I’m on a low income but that’s ok as me and my family are happy”

·       During the conversation he had conversations on the phone with who knows whom but after one said we were to stay in a hotel tonight implying the room he had provided was not good enough

·       Ashok arrived and brought us to “The Royal Tulip Hotel & Resort”

·       I went to pay on signing in but found that the cost had been taken care of

·       Long story short Sherry doesn’t have to squat at least until we move somewhere else which we might have to politely resist 

 

It is only 12 months since we were last in India and it is surprising how quickly we had forgotten how:

 

·       Crowded Delhi is

·       Chaotic the driving is

·       Bad the roads are in parts

·       Violent the speed bumps are

·       Frequent the car horn is used

·       Much rubbish sits on the side of the road

·       Rundown most of the buildings are

·       Cows wander in front of vehicles bringing them to a halt

 

but most of all and perhaps to our discredit,we had forgotten how

 

·       Friendly, welcoming and delightful the people are

What the next few days holds remains to be seen but sure as hell we will find out